XXVIII – My Day Just Got Shot To Hell

Sometimes, when I try to sit and write a post, I come up empty, or I start to write and get distracted/sidetracked or lose my train of thought. At other times, I find inspiration from the most unlikely sources. Today was one of those days where I got inspired from the damnedest source. I was scrolling Facebook, and I saw a video someone shared. It was about little things (pet peeves) that can just ruin the flow of your day (If you click the link, it should take you to the video—that is, unless the video gets deleted for some reason). Following the order of the linked video, I have compiled a list of what happens. It may not be as humorous as the video, but I will include my two cents’ worth, as always.

  • You’re standing outside, or sitting on the porch, enjoying your morning coffee (or other drink of choice), and from out of the blue, a bird poops on you, followed by more bird bombs🤬🤮 Really, birds? When did I become your shit target?
  • Your phone battery is running low, so you put it on the charger before going to bed. You wake up in the morning only to see that the phone is completely dead. What the fuck‽ You grab the charger cord and discover it was never plugged in!🤦‍♂️ This definitely will not be a good day!
  • You buy a new frying pan from Walmart or wherever. You bring it home, excited to cook something. There’s a sticker label inside the pan. Okay, no problem. You go to peel the sticker out. What happens? You start to remove the sticker, and the damn thing tears. Okay, try again. The fucking thing is glued into the pan so well that you wind up either shredding the sticker to hell. So much frustration!
    • On a side note, that’s when you soak the pan, and the paper sticker should disintegrate.
    • Something similar actually happened to me. I bought a couple of square cake pans, for an upcoming birthday cake, and the label inside the pan didn’t want to budge. It was well-glued into the pan, and the label was actually similar to cardboard. I had to go under it with a butter knife to pry it up enough to remove it. Why do these companies think they have to glue things that fucking well?
  • Imagine you’re walking on the sidewalk. You’re listening to music, enjoying the beat, and all of a sudden, you step in something. Your worst fears happen when you realize you just stepped in dog shit.😵🤮 Now what? Now you try to scrape the offending substance on the sidewalk, or find the nearest patch of grass to try to remove the nasty feces from your shoe (and hope you remember when you get home, so you don’t track it into the house—and try not to let the stench overwhelm you).
  • You go to the refrigerator to have a nice tall glass of juice (or milk). You reach for the cardboard quart carton of your drink. You go to open the carton, and it refuses to cooperate. You try to physically open the container, and, instead of opening, it just tears more, remaining sealed. At this point, you probably just relent and put it back in defeat.
  • You’re walking along at your normal pace, be it on the sidewalk or in the grocery store, and you come upon some clueless bastards ambling along in absolutely no hurry. You try to go around them, but there’s no room to pass on either side. You’re forced to slow to a snail’s pace behind them, because they’ve got nowhere to go, and either have no clue or couldn’t care less that you’re behind them, wanting to go around and about your business. [this could also apply to driving down the road, and there are cars in either lane, neither one interested in allowing anyone to pass] 🖕
  • You’re looking for a decent space to park. You see a space between two cars. “Perfect!” you’re thinking. You start to turn into the spot, only to realize you just got “catfished” by a motorcycle or small car—you know, like one of those toy-sized Smartcars. Bastards!
  • You’re walking in your office building, and one of those damn door handles reaches out and catches your unsuspecting belt loop. You suddenly get jerked back because the door attacked you. Now you have to try to free yourself from the trap.
  • You’re in school, or at your desk at work. You go to listen to music. You grab your earbuds (yeah, corded earbuds still exist) out of your pocket, and the cord is a tangled mess. You try to unravel it, to no avail, so you have to listen to music on a short tether.
    • Seriously, how to those damned cords get so tangled‽ You put it in your pocket nicely, then three seconds later, they’re a tangled jumble. Sounds like bullshit, if you ask me!
  • You feel like having some milk. You reach into the fridge and open the milk. You smell it. Is it okay? Smell again, doesn’t smell weird. You chug some. Immediately, you regret that decision! It tastes like some putrid, rank ass and there are little chunks coming out of the jug. My, my, doesn’t that just sound oh so appetizing?🤬🤮
  • You want to plug your flash drive into your laptop. It won’t go. You flip it; no go. It won’t go in no matter what. That is, until you physically pick the damned laptop up, then it goes in fine.🤨
  • You just cooked some soup. You pour the soup into a bowl. Instead of pouring like it should, it runs down the side of the pot, making a mess on the counter. Try again, same bullshit. Now you have an empty bowl, and a mess on the counter. Murphy’s Law dictates that if you move the bowl, the liquid will pour normally, creating an even bigger mess. You really can’t win for losing!
  • You’ve reached the bottom third of your Pringles can. Your hand won’t fit to reach the chips, no matter how hard you try. Okay, I’ll pour the chips into my hand…You end up with the rest of the can all over the place, and a hand full of chip crumbs. Oh, fuck my life!
  • Trying to get the end of the Pringles can (your hand won’t fit, and if you pour, the chips go everywhere)
  • Stepping in water while wearing socks. This one needs no explanation, other than the “son of a bitch!” when it happens.
  • You park your car, and go about your business. When you come back, you open the door to get in, and you look at the paper flapping under your wiper blade…it’s a fucking parking ticket. Seriously? Why? Because you don’t like my car? Did I park like an asshole? Are you just out to ruin as many people’s day as you possibly can?
  • You grab a can of snacks. You know, the one with the foil seal and a pull tab. You pull, and the tab breaks off, but the can is still sealed. This also applies to a soda can. You pull the tab, and the tab breaks before the can is open, or the tab breaks through and unseals the can, but the damned thing didn’t open right, so now, you push it open with your finger, and you hope and pray you don’t cut yourself in the process.
  • Once you’ve done your business on the toilet, you reach over, and the toilet paper roll is empty. And there’s no replacement anywhere. Some will use a paper towel, if available. I guess when all else fails, you could use a bath towel or washcloth. Ew. Hopefully, those will go in the trash when you’re done! Seriously, though, unless you are about to shit your pants, don’t you usually glance to make sure there’s TP before doing your business?
  • You have a glass of milk and want to dunk your cookie in the milk. The cookie is wider than the glass. I guess you don’t need to dunk it after all. Thanks, Obama.
  • You have a brand new bag of chips, or Cheetos, or whatever. You open the bag, and it freaking tears down the side, spilling the whole thing all over the place. At least try to save some of it! Argh, what a disgrace and a waste!
  • You take a nice relaxing shower. You reach for the towel…that isn’t there. Okay, you could stand there and drip dry. Or, you peek out. No one’s there. You walk out to get a towel. In the process, because your feet are wet, and in your rush to find a towel, you slip and fall flat on your ass! Now, not only are you still soaking wet from the shower, you’ve just lost whatever dignity you had left, since you’re now on the floor, naked and sopping wet. I think at this point, you should just give up and go to bed.

I’m sure there’s many other things that could absolutely ruin the flow of the day, like a flat tire after when you leave the store, or dropping your phone in the worst possible place, but that’s the stuff from the video. It’s funny because it’s so relatable, and most has happened to just about everyone at one point or another!

This was a long one, but I really didn’t want to split it into multiple parts.🤭 At one point or another, we all end up having some little thing screw up our day, but may those days be few and far between. On all the other days (and even on those crappy ones), let us all be safe and be well.

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