There are things that happen to all of us that we absolutely loathe with a passion. Some of them happen universally, though for some reason, they’re really not discussed. Well, I’m gonna talk about them this week.
Let’s start off with Reese’s peanut butter cups. You would think after decades of manufacturing those little super-sweet concoctions, they would have perfected the packaging. But noooooo! You go to take the candy out of the little paper-wax cup, and the chocolate on the bottom sticks to the paper, exposing the peanut butter disc inside, then you have to scrape the chocolate from the paper with your teeth. Very annoying🤬!
You buy a donut or a cinnamon roll or similar pastry. You or the counter person uses a tissue to grab the pastry hygienically, then bag it. You grab it from the bag to eat it, and lo and behold, the frosting is stuck to the paper. Same concept as the Reese’s. Why can’t the damned frosting stay on the treat?
Let’s say you need a new skillet. You go to Walmart (or wherever) and purchase a new non-stick skillet. Supposedly nothing sticks to the Teflon. WRONG! (insert game show buzzer) The sticker is so well-glued it tears and the adhesive remains stuck to the pan. No how have to soak the skillet to remove the gluey paper, or risk scratching your brand new cookware.
What about the eraser that not only doesn’t remove the pencil mark well, but also leaves a pinkish trail all over your paper. Now you have an absolute mess. You may as well throw the fucking paper (and the defective pencil) in the trash.
Bottles of medicine come with a paper seal inside the cap. Sometimes there’s a plastic tab you pull to help remove the seal. And sometimes you pull on the tab, and either the seal tears and leaves a layer intact, or just the tab comes off, and you’re back to square one. Either way, you still have to insert a pointed object to remove the offending seal (then there’s the annoying cotton that is occasionally found in the bottle). The same kind of bullshit (seal not opening right and tearing down the middle) can happen with peanut butter jars or those little fast food dipping sauce cups. All are frustrating beyond belief!
Along the same line as the pill bottle is the paper milk carton. You go to open it, and the damn thing decides it wants to mess around and tear. Your milk is still sealed in the carton, and then once you do get it open, you can’t reclose it very well, because the carton opening has been massacred.
Anyone who has ever used a three-ring binder has been plagued by the one ring whose prongs don’t line up properly. Not only is it not aesthetically pleasing, it risks your papers coming off the ring or tearing.
Probably one of the most infuriating things in existence is the hangnail—that tiny piece of skin that tries to rip from your finger next to the nail. You can’t bite it off because it’s too small. It’s hard to reach nail clippers to cut it. If you pull on it, it’s painful as hell and you wind up pulling off way more skin than expected, and wind up suffering instant and long-lasting regret.
Oops! You’ve spilled something on the counter. Grab a paper towel and clean it up. Simple enough. You tear the paper towel sheet, and the last half-inch of the sheet stays on the roll. Now you have a tiny flag hanging from the paper towel roll. Dammit, that’s annoying. Equally (or maybe more) exasperating is toilet paper. You’re lucky enough to notice you’re out of paper before doing your business. You grab a new roll. When you go to get some, the end of the roll is glued. Not so bad, but the damn paper is so well glued you end up tearing half the roll to get the fucking thing started! Why do they even need to be glued at all🤦♂️?! Along that line, don’t you just hate when businesses put that cheap-ass one-ply paper in the bathroom? Either you pull off half a roll to wipe, or risk poking your finger through the paper🤮.
You’re walking in a building, going at a nice pace. Everything’s fine. You open a door and proceed. Seconds later, something grabs you like you’re getting kidnapped. You look down and the door handle has caught your belt loop. You try backing up, but you’re still stuck. Now you have to stop and physically remove your pants from the door. You look like an idiot in the process.
Sometimes price tags are attached to clothing with a little plastic thingy (whatever the damn thing is called). You like the clothes and buy it. At home, you remove the tag, but the plastic thing is still attached. You don’t notice because it’s miniscule. After putting the clothing on, it feels like someone is stabbing you, especially if it’s on the back of the neck. Now you have to find it and cut it off, because if you pull it, you might rip your brand new clothes.
Traffic can be an utter nightmare. Stupidity runs rampant out there. You’re driving along. A lane ends. Someone absolutely has to wait until the last second to move over and cut someone else off in the process (there’s a lot of debate about this one, the so-called “zipper merge”, but that’s another topic of discussion). Or someone will zoom around a turn to get in front of you, but once they do, they just won’t fucking speed up. They go around the corner at 50 mph, just to drive 35. What the hell?! Then there’s that person who refuses to move from the passing lane. Lastly, there’s that dumbass who, when approaching a green light, has to tap his brakes, for fear that the light will change, so that they can slam their brakes, stop halfway into the intersection, then back up to wait for the next light.
Last one on this list this week: cookies. Some people like to dunk their cookies in milk. Whatever. You go to dunk the cookie, and either it drops into the milk and you have to fish it out, getting your fingers milky, or the cookie is too big for the glass, forcing you to break or bite the dry cookie. Now I wasn’t a fan of Obama when he resided in the White House, but I will admit the guy had a sense of humor. Watch the quick clip below to see Obama failing at dunking his cookie.
Are there other things you find just as annoying? Comment here, on Instagram or Facebook, and we can all commiserate! Come on back next week for another random rant. Until then, be safe and be well.