CII – Resurrect Them!

Throughout our lives, foods and drinks come and go. New items are invented and distributed. Other things get discontinued, sometimes to be resurrected (for better or worse), others to never be heard from again. In my life, there have been several things that either went away or became altered for the worse, and that I wish would return to their original glory. I share with you my partial list of some things I would love to partake of again, even just once more.

Slice

Before Sierra Mist, Pepsi had a line of sodas called Slice. You might remember them. The last ones to be given the axe were the orange and lemon-lime varieties. However, at one time there were some 14 different varieties, including the ones I remember, such as grape, cherry cola (replaced by Cherry Pepsi), the aforementioned orange and lemon-lime (changed to Sierra Mist) and apple. I used to be able to buy Apple Slice from a vending machine in the high school locker room. The “Hardcore Apple” Rockstar isn’t quite the same flavor, but there are some similarities. It’s also not quite the same as Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider. I can’t describe it exactly, but I remember it and wish I could try it once more.

Can of Apple Slice
Apple Slice, one of the myriad of flavor varieties of the soda

Rockstar Blue Ice and Mango Orange Passionfruit

These two flavors of Rockstar energy drink’s “Pure Zero” line from roughly 2014 were the ones I used to buy all the time. Today there are others that I enjoy, but there is a tad bit of nostalgia with the other two, the former in its black and blue can and the latter in an orange and black can. My son found a couple of the blue ones in either 2018 or 2019 and bought them for me. The code date was from 2014, but they were still drinkable.

Blue Ice and Mango Orange Rockstar energy drinks
Rockstar Blue Ice and Mango Orange Passionfruit🤤

McDonald’s fried pies

Since 1992, McDonald’s pies have been baked. Prior to that, the little apple and cherry treats were fried. They looked like rectangular pillows of crispy, sweet goodness. The damned health nuts of the time demanded a healthier option, so Mickey D’s axed the fried pies. The closest thing recently was the Taco Bell Empanadas, but even those were booted August 2019. What the hell is next, baked French fries🤨🤢?

McDonald's fried apple pie
The absolutely delectable fried apple pie. That baked shit will never live up to these

McDonald’s Cinnamelts

The Golden Arches had an awesome, totally unhealthy breakfast item called the Cinnamon Melts. Little pieces of cinnamon roll, slathered in cinnamon and a melted glaze. I don’t know why they stopped selling those super sweet treats, but I used to love to get them.

McDonald's CInnamon Melt
These would more than satisfy anyone’s sweet tooth!

McDonald’s Spanish Omelet Bagel

I guess Mickey D’s loves to change the menu. Another delicious item that got the axe was their breakfast bagels. The Spanish Omelet had pieces of steak (or something resembling steak), egg with bell peppers and onions and pepperjack cheese. I guess the workings of corporate America will never be completely understood.

McDonald's Spanish Omelet Bagel
Very unhealthy breakfast, but quite delicious for being from McDonald’s

Whatchamacallit and Thingamajig

Though Whatchamacallits still exist today, they originally were made without that nauseating caramel. Back then, they were really good. About ten years ago, there was a similar candy bar called the Thingamajig, which had chocolate wafers. They quietly disappeared around 2011, as mysteriously as they appeared.

Thingamajig & Whatchamacallit candies
Thingamajigs and Whatchamacallits. Sounds like an identity crisis. Whatchamacallits were much better before adding that nasty caramel shit

Hostess goodies

In the Hostess company’s former life (before the death and resurrection of the brand), they sold a raspberry-filled powdered sugar donut called “Hostess O’s”. Similar donuts are made by other companies, but they’re just not quite the same. At one time, they had pudding-filled pies, similar to the fruit ones currently. There was a vanilla and a chocolate pie. Both were tasty, but along with the Choco Bliss, suffered being discontinued. What’s Choco Bliss? Basically, death by chocolate. Two little chocolate sponge cakes filled with chocolate cream, topped with chocolate frosting. They were a diabetic’s nightmare. Those, unfortunately, would disappear in the summer, usually because they’d simply melt in the delivery truck from the heat.

Hostess Choco Bliss
Death by chocolate

Jack in the Box Blueberry French toast sticks

It seems like French toast sticks have been nixed from almost every fast food breakfast menu, save one or two. Jack in the Box used to sell the regular ones and a blueberry variety. The blueberry sticks had just the right amount of sweetness, since I could eat them without needing the syrup cup. Alas, they disappeared, never to be seen again.

Foil-wrapped Ding Dongs

You can still get the little chocolate discs known as Ding Dongs, but in the 10-pack boxes, they’re individually wrapped in these little plastic pouches. Years ago, they came wrapped in aluminum foil. I don’t know about you, but I like to put the Ding Dongs in the freezer and eat them frozen solid. The foil helped to make them nicely frozen. The plastic just isn’t the same. A bonus for the foil was when you were done eating you could crumple the foil into a little ball which would take up very little room in a trash can, unlike the plastic pouch. I mean, if you want to be environmentally friendly, why put them in plastic?

Hostess Ding Dongs
Ding Dongs, like Kit Kats, once were wrapped in foil. They just seemed to taste better that way.

Mother’s Flaky Flix cookies

If you’ve ever had the Keebler Fudge Sticks cookies, you have an idea of what these Flaky Flix cookies were. The difference was the Mother’s variety was additionally coated with what appeared to be crush corn flakes. I enjoyed the texture contrast, and from what I’ve read, they went away, returned in until the early 2010s. I just know I haven’t seen them in stores in many years.

Planter’s PB Crisp

This was a peanut butter snack made by the Planter’s Peanut Company. They were shaped like peanuts and the cookie-type shell had a slightly crispy texture. You kinda felt like you were eating a peanut—though I would never munch on an actual peanut shell🤮.

Planter's PB Crisp
P. B. Crisps. Look like peanuts, sans the shells

Moritz Ice Cubes

This is the last discontinued food I’ll include for now. These used to be found at gas station registers as an impulse purchase. Ice Cubes were little cube-shaped chocolate that would call to little kids annoying their parents and to adults to splurge. I’ve never before or since eaten a candy exactly the same. It’s hard to describe them exactly, but they had a unique chocolate flavor. They weren’t overly sweet, but they weren’t even in the realm of semi-sweet chocolate. Upon some research I find that these little confections are imported from Germany. No wonder they’re not sickeningly sweet. There was a time I ate so many (not in one day, though) I got sick of them for a while. I would love to get my hands on a couple again, seeing as how I haven’t had one in like 20 years. I could buy some on Amazon, but for what they charge, I don’t need one that badly.

Ice Cubes chocolates
Ice Cubes chocolate. Why does American chocolate have to be so goddamned sweet?

Is there a food or drink you wish would come back? Comment here or on Facebook or Instagram. Until next time, enjoy what you can while they’re still around. And as always, be safe and be well.

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