Your social media feeds are probably filled to the brim with posts about the election, Biden’s victory and Trump’s refusal to concede the election. I know I’m over it, and I really need a break from all the political horse shit. So this week, something a little more light.
You’ve undoubtedly seen someone go post on Facebook a list of things that goes “How well do you know me? Pick this or that.” Well, you don’t have to guess which ones I’d pick. I’ll do it for you here. Of course, if you want to guess, go for it. So, which are my preferences? As Mario would say, “Lets-a go!”
Dog or Cat: Hard one, I like both. I currently have one cat, but I like dogs, too.
Netflix or YouTube: There’s not much on Netflix I’m interested in seeing (except maybe that “Transformers: War for Cybertron” trilogy I read about), so I’d probably have to side with YouTube on this one.
Phone Call or Text: This should be a no-brainer. Introvert me says texting all the way.
Facebook or Twitter: I use them both. Twitter is way too political; Facebook is a Big Brother-esque behemoth. However, Facebook is probably the lesser of the two evils.
iOS or Android: No question, Android. I’ve always had Android phones, mainly because the iPhone was an AT&T exclusive when it launched. I have an iPad, but I prefer the customization of Android.
Swimming or Sunbathing: Ummmm, no matter which one of these I chose, no one, and I mean NO ONE wants to see that! 🤮
Big Party or Small Gathering: Again, Introvert Me says small gathering. Big party quickly drains social battery.
What’s worse: Laundry or Dishes: I’d almost rather do laundry than dishes, probably because I’ve done it for so long. I dunno. Neither are pleasant chores.
Bath or Shower: Definitely a shower. One, tubs are usually too small. Two, getting into a tub, you first stick in your feet, then your asshole. Then, you sit in the filth and need to shower the crud off. So, I save the step and just shower.
Glasses or Contacts: I’ve tried contacts, and that was a miserable failure, so glasses, even though they have their drawbacks.
Receive an Email or Letter: Ah, technology. Anymore, I’d almost rather the handwritten letter from someone. Unfortunately, most things I get in the mail are bills. Hell, even email is becoming antiquated with the various social media and their respective instant messaging capabilities.
Passenger or Driver: Letting others drive and have control is kinda scary, and I’ve been driving for 30 years, so I’ll take the wheel, unless it’s someone else’s car.
Tablet or Computer: I like my iPad for quick things, but it can’t quite do all the things my laptop can. So the laptop edges it out.
Car or Truck: I’m not exactly a truck person. I’ve always owned a car or minivan.
Blue or Red: My two favorite colors, how can I choose between them? I know it’s “this or that”, but I honestly can’t pick one over the other. Don’t @ me.
Pen or Pencil: I side with pens, especially gel pens. Pencils feel elementary school-esque and I don’t really have much use for pencils, especially since I can’t draw to save my life. I’m lucky I can draw a stick figure.
Toilet paper: Over or Under: If you’re lucky enough to find any, I always put the TP roll going over. Sure, if you have little kids or cats, under saves you from the unraveled pile of butt napkins on the floor, but even the patent drawing shows the roll going over.
Pancake or Waffle: Pancakes are easier to make, so I go with that. However, I do like waffles occasionally. Ever notice how waffles hold the syrup so well in their little squares? Even easier than pancakes? French toast.
Coke or Pepsi: Pass me a Dr Pepper, thank you very much, since Pepsi and Coke both make my acid reflux attack violently. Of the two, I prefer Pepsi, since Coke’s pH is damn near that of battery acid. Coke’s pH is 2.5, while battery acid is 1.0 (the lower the pH, the more acidic something is).
Train or Plane: Airplane for me, since I’ve never been on a train. I have flown numerous times, and actually enjoy it, in spite of the occasional turbulence, uncomfortable seats that hardly recline and absolute lack of leg room.
Meat or Vegetables: My preference here is meat. I could not be a vegetarian, or even less, a vegan. I like my hamburgers, steaks, bacon, pork, chicken, eggs, cheese, etc., too much to give them up. Now if the choice had been vegetables or liver, I’d say the exact opposite. I like many vegetables, but you will never see me consume neither beef nor chicken liver. Beef liver tastes like shit to me (since it’s the shit filter of the body), and smells just as bad when cooking it. Raw chicken livers smell just as bad, if not worse than beef. A pan of raw chicken livers looks like a huge splattered brain🧠🤢.
Winter or Summer: No two ways about it, winter. At least in winter, you can wear more clothes or sleep with another blanket. In summer, you could lie “bare-ass nekkid” on a tile floor and still be dying of the heat.
Card Game or Board Game: Most likely, a card game. UNO is a particular favorite, especially the Giant Uno deck I have. I’m still trying to figure out the best way to shuffle the damn thing. Some have a hard time shuffling a standard-size deck of 52 cards. Imagine trying to shuffle 108 cards that measure nearly 8×10” each. Shuffling the fucking things is next to impossible! If anyone has a tip, feel free to share!
Camping or TV at Home: Staying home. I don’t care to be in the “great outdoors”. I am a homebody and don’t relish sleeping in a sleeping bag in a tent—that’s called a burrito for bears🤣.
Fan on or off when sleeping: It depends on the weather. In the summer, fan. In the winter, no fan. Although with my tinnitus, it would probably help drown out the constant ringing in my ears 🕭+👂=😫.
The much-longer list of questions I found online got narrowed down to roughly 25 things. If you tried to match my answers, how did you do? Do you know me well? Did you do so-so? Lost all hope after the first few questions? Don’t feel bad if you got a low score. Not many people know much about me and my preferences. Feel free to comment to me how you did, if you deigned to try. Comments via social media are welcome, as well. Until next Sunday when I make yet another post, please be safe and be well.