CXXXIII – Yummy Stuff🤤

Congratulations on surviving the 86-month-long ordeal that was 2020. It was an extremely heavy year; so much happened—so much drama and bullshit. It seems that 2021 is simply trucking along with much of the same nonsense and fuckery, so this week’s post is more on the lighter side.

I’ve been plugging away at this blog nearly every week for around 2½ years now, and on 28 Feb, roughly a week ago, I reached the 130-follower point, then since added one more follower, for a total of 131—I’m not knocking that fact, and I thank every single one from the bottom of my heart. There is always someone new reading my latest posts, so I thought I’d revisit one of my favorite subjects: food. I’ve compiled a list of food that I enjoy, beginning with each letter of the alphabet. So, we begin, naturally, at the top:

Apple butter

It’s not something I eat all the time, but it is a nice condiment to indulge in occasionally. Spread it on a biscuit or a slice of bread, especially the spiced variety. Yummy.

Foodservice-sized can of apple butter, similar to what Cracker Barrel serves. Delicious on biscuits or toast

Bacon

Anyone who knows me knows that I love bacon. I like my bacon kinda crispy, but not really burnt and not limp. We have a regular at work that likes his bacon literally burnt, like not even resembling bacon anymore. This same guy likes his scrambled eggs almost raw, cooked for maybe 10 – 15 seconds. The eggs are barely set; he almost needs a straw for the eggs. To the other extreme, I know someone who eats bacon only par-cooked, the fat not even rendered, and just slightly melted🤮.

Crispy, salty bacon. A feast from the gods, especially the cholesterol gods

Cheesecake

I rarely buy cheesecake. Making my own cheesecake seems to just taste better. It’s also a blank canvas to do all sorts of flavoring and crust possibilities.

A slice of New York cheesecake. How about some chocolate cheesecake with an Oreo or brownie crust?

Dark chocolate

Chocolate with a high percentage of cocoa solids, 60 – 80% is ideal. Most American-made chocolate contains way too much sugar and is sickeningly sweet🤢. Many Americans adore milk chocolate, but I would much rather have a European or a “dark” chocolate. It’s not as painful on the mouth.

Dark chocolate with around 75% cacao is perfect. Neither overly bitter nor sweet.

Enchiladas

A Mexican-style dish of a corn tortilla rolled around a meat and/or cheese filling topped with sauce and melted cheese. I make a “gringo” variant using flour tortillas and a chicken filling. Smother that with green sauce and cheese and bake.

¿Quién puede resistir a los enchiladas? Nomás falta la crema e poquito de guacamole🤤

Fajitas

Along the Mexican line is fajitas. Thinly-sliced and sautéed meat, peppers and onions, eaten with tortillas. I add sour cream to mine.

I love me some fajitas. I would add some green bell pepper and onions to this. It’d be even better with some carne asada

Grapes

The simple fruit. Black grapes are somehow much sweeter than the green ones. Maybe because the green ones aren’t ripe? Believe me, when grapes are cheap enough, I’m buying some.

Hamburgers

American staple, the hamburger, but known globally by way of McDonald’s and Burger King (in Australia, BK is known as Hungry Jack’s). How do I like mine? Seasoned, maybe stuffed with blue cheese crumbles, a little lettuce, tomato, onion, diced green chiles, bacon, real cheese slice (no plastic on my burger, thank you), a little mayo maybe. I’m getting hungry thinking about it.

Ice water

Okay, this isn’t food, technically. When you’re thirsty, sometimes ice water is the best way to kill that. Admittedly, I don’t drink as much as I should. I like sodas and energy drinks too much. I still keep a bottle or two of water by my bed.

Jello

“There’s always room for Jello”. That was their slogan years ago, quoted in Ghostbusters 2. It’s a wiggly, flavored gelatin dessert. The state of Utah has the highest per capita consumption of green Jello. Why? God only knows. Probably all the church gatherings and family get-togethers in the traditionally large Mormon families of Utah. As with Gatorade, does anyone actually refer to Jello by its flavor? No one says “Gatorade Cool Blue Raspberry” or “lime Jello”, do they? Isn’t it “blue Gatorade” or “green Jello”? I think it’s almost sacrilegious to do that.

Screenshot from Ghostbusters 2. Apparently Winston hates Jello

KitKat

Few foods begin with K, so I opted for KitKat. Break me off a piece, don’t bite the fucking end of it! And don’t bite it from the side! The unwritten rule is that you break off one piece and eat that, then move to the next piece. It’s like string cheese: you peel and eat string cheese, you don’t bite the end off. Anyone who does that is simply a monster, and we don’t need that kind of negativity in our lives!

Lasagna

Layers of noodle, meat and sauce filling, cheese, etc., then baked. The only way I can manage to eat pasta is if it has a ton of sauce and cheese. It might be terribly unhealthy, but is Italian food ever made to be healthy? It’s like trying to find something healthy at Cracker Barrel—it don’t happen.

Meatloaf

Non-Americans find this concept bizarre. Ground beef baked into the shape of a loaf of bread. Meatloaf is extremely versatile and you can do a lot with it. I’ve stuffed it with cheese and wrapped it in bacon; or add taco or fajita seasoning, picante sauce, green chile and onion. Any leftovers don’t usually last a day or two.

Meatloaf is a carnivore’s dream, especially wrapped in bacon. So greasy, so fatty, so delicious

Nachos

Tortilla chips topped with any number of toppings—refried beans, meat, black beans, sour cream, tomatoes (or pico de gallo), guacamole, nacho cheese sauce. Some put olives, but to each their own.

I admit I’m 100% gringo; I think these nachos would be better made with Doritos, rather than plain tortilla chips. Maybe?

Onions

I love the flavor onions give to food. Some people don’t like them because supposedly onions give them bad breath. That’s what toothpaste and breath mints are for! I like onions raw, grilled, fried (onion rings). I like to also add fried onions to Hamburger Helper. The one thing about onions I don’t like is the way they sting your eyes when cutting them.

Pasta Alfredo

I tried making my own scratch Alfredo sauce, but it was rather laborious, so I just opt for the store-bought sauce in a jar. For my purposes, that’s good enough. I usually make my Alfredo with shrimp and add some spinach cooked in a little oil and garlic to it. I used chicken once, but my family likes shrimp more (except my daughter, who’s vegetarian).

Shrimp Alfredo. Delicious and not too hard to make. The picture would be even better with some spinach.

Quesadillas

I don’t like Mexican food too much, do I? The simple tortilla, covered with cheese, grilled and melted. It might not be a traditional thing, but I still eat it, adding some chicken, steak or even eggs to it.

Ribeye steak

An expensive cut of meat (locally runs around $13/lb, except around Christmas), either a steak or a prime rib roast. No matter how it’s prepared, it’s gotta be medium rare. If you like well-done, you do you, but at that point it’s just dry and flavorless, ruining an expensive piece of beef. I guess that’s why Trump eats his well-done steak with ketchup. Blecch.

A delicious-looking piece of ribeye before cooking.

Salmon

I don’t understand people who refuse to eat animal skin, but whatever. I love salmon, especially when you get the skin cooked nice and crispy. Some day, I want to try wild-caught red salmon. The stuff you get at the store is usually farm-raised pink salmon. I hear the red variety is the best.

Tacos

Not those hard-shell Taco Bell things. I mean “street tacos”, little corn tortillas, pork carnitas, onion and cilantro, and maybe a squeeze of lime juice. That is a taco. Hard-shell tacos are an American invention. If you ask for a taco in Mexico, you won’t find lettuce or tomato.

Ask anyone about authentic tacos, and they’ll point out the top picture. Taco Bell just isn’t real Mexican food

Undercooked steak

Back to the steaks for a second. Some think that a steak that’s not very well cooked is dangerous and will make you violently ill. It depends on the steak. If it’s left on the counter all day, of course you’ll get sick. A medium-rare steak cooked safely is fine. The bacteria is on the surface, not the middle. You kill the bacteria on the outside, the inside is fine. I eat medium rare steaks all the time, and I don’t get sick from them. I just happen to enjoy a juicy, flavorful steak, not something all dried-out that could be used to patch a tire.

Vanilla ice cream

It’s a simple flavor, but satisfying. Especially tasty is vanilla bean ice cream that has little specks of the actual vanilla bean.

Waffles

What are waffles, but pancakes with abs? Waffles give you those little squares to put all that butter and syrup, and they don’t soak up all the syrup at one time. Pancakes leave you one part soggy, one part dry. Waffles allow even spread of everything.

Waffles have those little squares to hold in all the buttery and syrupy goodness

I can’t find anything I’ve ever eaten beginning with X. I guess this letter is just too “extra” to have a real food attached to it, unless it’s written in Chinese.

Yogurt

Sometimes life just requires you to eat a container (or two or three) of yogurt. Not plain, nasty, unflavored yogurt. Unless you’re the kind who likes plain rice cakes, as well. Give me some strawberry or blueberry yogurt, and I’m happy.

Zucchini

It’s not often I eat this kind of squash, but I do enjoy it on occasion. I’ve had fried zucchini before, but it’s been years. Dip that in some ranch and you have a nice snack. Once in a great while, when working at Golden Corral, I’d get some of the sautéed zucchini with my lunch.

Fried zucchini

What are some foods that you enjoy? Perhaps we share some of the same ones. Write them down in the comments. Whatever food you happen to like, I hope it’s prepared just how you like it. It’s one of those necessary things in life. I hope you enjoy your week. Hopefully 2021 is starting off well for you. Always remember to wash those hands and wear your masks. I tested positive for corona in December, so I isolated and wore my mask outside. Hopefully I didn’t pass it along to anyone else. Don’t be a dick and follow your mask mandates. I probably caught corona from one of these “anti-mask” douchebags. Anyway, do your part, be safe and be well.

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