Have you ever wanted to take someone and just slap them upside the head? I mean, take someone who is irritating as fuck and just smack some sense into them. I want to give a couple of examples of people I’d love to give a high five to…in the face…with a steel chair.
The first kind is people who get into heated arguments at work, usually over something petty or for no reason. I’ll hear a coworker start raising their voice at another because they felt attacked or called out on something. That, or it’s a cook and a server shouting at each other because a dish that was cooked and plated has disappeared. Regardless of what happened, if the customer didn’t receive the meal they requested and are paying for, it needs to be remade. I’ve fallen into this trap numerous times, where I’ve argued with a server because something that I know for a fact cooked and put in the window ended up gone. It turns out that sometimes we screw up and forget to drop something, but more often than not, it was a server issue. Whether that issue was food being taken off a tray without asking, or something called “window shopping”, that is, ignoring other servers’ trays, then going about their merry way garnishing their own orders, rather than being a team player and helping out their fellow servers, even though the other food had been presented several minutes before, just sitting and getting cold.
Another example of someone who needs to use their face to hurt a wall with is politicians. At one time, people of Congress were elected to be public servants. I was always taught that out government was one “of the people, by the people and for the people”. Somehow, during the course of the last 245 years, the government strayed away from being “for the people”. Senators and Democrats only look out for their own power and position, their constituents be damned. They refuse to take up term limits for themselves, and that allows for career politicians, those who have been in office for 20, 25, 30, 40, fifty years. They don’t achieve a fucking thing, but somehow they remain in office. They vote themselves pay raises, but refuse to budge on minimum wage, which has been stuck at $7.25/hr for the last 12 years. Fifty-three years ago, the minimum wage was $1.60. Accounting for inflation, that is equivalent to $12.29 today. In other words, the minimum wage of 2021 has an equivalent of 59% of the buying power of 1968’s minimum wage. Strictly looking at numbers, minimum wage today is about 4½ times what it was in ’68, but the prices of everything sure as hell aren’t only 4½ times what they were 53 years ago! A house back then averaged $25,000. Today, that same average is around $408,000, or sixteen times what they were. It seems that only now some businesses, desperately looking for employees, are raising their starting wages. Even fast food joints are starting to pay upwards of $14/hour. I’ve even seen at the local Del Taco that they’re offering, for graveyard shift, around $17/hour. When I worked there 7 years ago, I was making $9, plus $3 graveyard premium pay.
Another class of people to get their faces smashed in: these Baby Boomers and Silent Generation yahoos who bitch about younger people being lazy. “When I was your age, my wife stayed at home, and I paid all my bills with just my income” is a common gripe. Okay, I get that many Millennials and Gen Z are lazy and have no work ethic, many of them are hard workers and going to college. These students are strapped with student loans, which they’re stuck with forever, as they cannot be discharged in bankruptcy. Add to that the cost of housing and food, and they have to work themselves to death to afford a meager subsistence. The average 2-bedroom rent requires a minimum income of nearly $14/hour in the least expensive place to be considered affordable, or less than 30% of monthly income. Places like California become astronomically expensive, requiring a person to make in the range of $35/hour to afford it. Food is going up, gas is rising like crazy—averaging over $4/gallon in California, with a few places charging $6/gallon. So, as these younger people say, “OK Boomer”. Keep living in your fantasy world, ya old fart! The so-called “greatest country of the world” in some ways ain’t so great now, is it?
Who’s another bunch that should be beaten senseless with a golf club? Oh yeah, these jack-offs who get their thrills by raping and molesting women, and especially children. Now, there are the women who rape men, and it happens more often than people realize, as men usually don’t report this because they don’t want to be seen as weak or less than a man. Female rapists are included in this group. I don’t include people who have consensual sex, even if it’s in an affair. There’s nothing forced between the two of them; maybe their relationships aren’t fulfilling and they’re getting their needs met through another channel. That’s not my place to judge them. The ones I’m talking about in this segment are the ones who have sex with another person against their will. Adults raping adults is bad enough, but these lowlifes (men and women) who molest kids? These people need to be beaten until they’re a black-and-blue pulp. Maybe even return the favor by jamming a large, cumbersome object up their assholes. Once they’re convicted and in jail, let old “Chester the Molester” out in general population. I guarantee you someone in that prison will kill that disgusting fuck. Child molesters are the lowest of the low in terms of the ladder of human life. In fact, they’re way below the bottom rung.
Tell me, is there someone out there that you think needs to be smashed in the face with a crowbar? Maybe it’s an ex. Maybe it’s someone who cut you off in traffic. Maybe it’s the douchebag in the big lifted truck that took up four to six parking spaces. It could literally be anybody.
I hope you’re not one of these terrible people, like the angry coworker, the corrupt politician, the stereotypical Boomer, or the rapist/sex offender. I think you’re decent people. This week, please take care of yourself and check in on your loved ones, especially if they’re older. Vaccinate if you want to, wear your masks where required (thank god that’s going away), be safe and be well.