CLIV – Clean Living

Many people have as a stereotype that in many Middle Eastern and European countries, people are poor in hygiene. For example, many think that women in that part of the world don’t shave their pits or “nether regions” and think that the men don’t bathe regularly. The fact is, that happens everywhere, including the United States. In fact, I imagine that this American continent has many people even more disgusting than that.

I have seen many examples of people who are either lacking in hygiene or otherwise outright disgusting. Many times, it’s little kids who are not the most hygienic, but that’s because they’re still learning. The appalling ones are the grown-ass adults who are nasty. Have you ever worked with someone who doesn’t shower regularly? As they approach you or walk past you, you get that god-awful stench of major BO (body odor). It’s like they’ve never purchased deodorant in their life and a single bar of Irish Spring lasts them an entire year. A horrific aura surrounds them; as they walk by, leaves turn yellow🤢. Go get yourself some Right Guard and take a fucking shower, you cochino!

Ever come across a person who just fucking reeks? Just their mere presence makes you throw up in your mouth?

Along that line, how about people who, when they talk to you, practically make you pass out? A sewer or rotting eggs smells better than their mouth. Their oral cavity reeks like something took a shit in their mouth, died there, and was left to decompose. Ugh! Go invest in some Crest or Aqua-Fresh and scrub those nasty teeth! No wonder your teeth are green🤮!

How does anyone just go about their daily business without first brushing their teeth and ridding themselves of that god-awful morning breath? 🤢🤬

It’s not a secret that America has an obesity epidemic. Millions of people are staggeringly overweight. Of course, look at their eating habits. From experience working graveyard shift at Del Taco, people eat the hugest piles of garbage at all hours of the night. Even where I work now, I’ve seen some orders that make me think that the entire party is a group of rotund fat fucks, their meals consisting of 7000 calories and 10000 mg of sodium. They eat an entire week’s worth of calories in one or two meals. Then they go home and plop in front of the boob tube. When you look at these people who are as round as they are tall, you wonder to yourself, “How does this person take a shit?” Even if they do manage to successfully defecate, how do they wipe their ass? People who are 400, 500 lbs., when they try to reach around, look like a T-Rex, and can’t quite reach their asshole to wipe after a shit. Are there paramedics trained in ass wiping?

Worse than that are these thinner people who, when they remove their underwear, leave those god-awful, unsightly “skid marks”. Right where their asshole sits, there’s a dark brown stain on their tighty-whities. Hey, buddy. Sometimes one little wipe doesn’t get the job done. Granted, it’s possible to have a healthy dump, and one wipe is enough. Sometimes, however, you need half a fucking roll of toilet paper. The first wipe gets the top layer of soil off. You then have to call in the reinforcements and use more paper to get the job done. Also, it’s not an embarrassment to use some kind of wet wipe, like a baby wipe or something similar, to clean off your anal orifice. It’s a sign that you are conscious of your cleanliness.
Since we‘re on the subject of wiping, aren’t women taught there’s a right and wrong direction to wipe down there? Isn’t it like front to back? That way you don’t get poop in your vagina and possibly cause an infection. Please correct me if I’m wrong. After all, I’m a guy and I don’t have to deal with that myself.

Now, here’s a billion-dollar idea. What if someone could invent some kind of sensor that sets off an alarm when a person leaves the restroom without washing their hands? Then, a sign over the bathroom door alerts everyone that they didn’t wash. I’ve seen many times a person who does their business, and then is out of the bathroom before the flush ends. All that bacteria winds up on the door handle, or whatever else they touch after leaving the bathroom. Is it any wonder why restaurant workers are required to wash their hands after leaving the restroom, even after washing in the bathroom? Door handles and cell phones are among the dirtiest items in existence.
Speaking of bathrooms, how is it that a person will take their drink into a restaurant bathroom? Usually that happens in a fast food establishment. It’s like they’re afraid their drink will get thrown away. Why would you take your drink into a germ- and bacteria-laden public restroom? Would you take it into a porta-potty? Even worse that that is the ones who take their drink into the bathroom without a lid. Seriously, how fucking gross is that?

I would absolutely love to see this in real life: a sign above the bathroom door that indicates, with a loud alarm, that someone who used the bathroom did not wash their hands

Even if you don’t take a full-on shower every day, at least, as George Carlin said, wash the four key areas: armpits, asshole, crotch and teeth. Those are the areas of the body which emit the worst aromas. Some people will argue that showering and washing the hair daily is bad. Well, let’s consider this caveat. If you have a physical job that makes you sweat a lot, or you work out a lot, a daily shower is good. If you have a sedentary job, you might not need a shower every day; at least wash the aforementioned four key areas. As for the hair, no, it’s not necessary to wash it daily. To do that will strip it of its natural oils and make the hair dry and brittle. That’s no good. There is the camp of people who say the same thing about showering. Granted, soap does remove essential oils as well as the filth and garbage of the day. However, do you want to smell like an outhouse, or like you got sprayed by fifty skunks?

Segment from George Carlin’s HBO special, “You Are All Diseased”, where he jokes quickly about showering and cleaning what he calls “the four key areas”

One last group of people who are disgusting: women who don’t clean themselves properly during that time of the month. Most women have to deal with their periods and the associated gifts that come during those delightful days. Some women use tampons, others use pads to keep from staining their clothes. There are those nasty bitches that consider themselves “free bleeders” and either let their blood go everywhere, or they use this weird device known as a diva cup. No one wants to deal with your menstrual blood, so keep it to yourself. Use a pad at the very least, and dispose of it discreetly. Also ladies, for the love of God, please, clean yourself well during your periods. No one wants to have that disgusting aroma floating around!

Now, there is a fetish for everything in this world. Some like women with big asses, some like women who are unshaved downstairs, and whatnot. Most people, though, would not even consider intimacy during menstruation. Honestly, not only is that gross, it’s unhygienic and can cause a myriad of problems for the woman, like risking infection. There are, however, people who have no problems having period sex. Many years ago, I worked with a nasty fuck dude that bragged about doing that with his wife. Both were fucking disgusting! Okay, I need to stop so I don’t throw up in my mouth. Let me just end by saying that at the gas station I worked at the time, the couple worked together. She would make the hot food in the morning, but I never saw her wash her hands😨🤮. She’d handle money or clean the restroom, then go right back to making the food. He looked like a nasty, scroungy homeless dude. Oh, don’t worry, that place closed and was bulldozed a couple of years ago, and they’d been fired from the place years prior to that. So, you don’t have to worry about getting sick from there.

Do you know of any other disgusting, unhygienic practices people have? Please share a story you may have about a cleanliness nightmare, lack of hygiene, or other gross thing people do. If you’ve ever seen a commercial kitchen floor, you’d understand why the “five-second rule” of dropped food absolutely does not apply. Until the next time you read my words, be safe and be well.

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