CLVII – On the Radio

Many people love listening to music. The type of music can be influenced by your mood, or it can affect your mindset. Some like music to work out to or to do housework by. Some use music as background noise, while others (like myself) enjoy music, but need silence to concentrate. Among the myriad of genres, some people will listen to anything. I am not one of those people. I like most music, but as for some artists, either I can’t stand and hate with a burning passion, or I just never acquired a taste for them.

Several radio stations in southern Utah are dedicated to the modern pop hits. I avoid these stations like the plague. Most pop music of today is just garbage, I think. Not many singers today have an actual talent for singing. These pop stations usually just play the top 10 songs on repeat every hour, with an occasional older one thrown in. Before you start stoning me virtually, I said most pop music sucks. There are the rare exceptions that I enjoy hearing. But, anything by Bieber, Post Malone, Meghan Trainor etc., totally grate on my nerves like nails on a chalkboard. The combination of their voice, repetitious lyrics or the annoying beat make these songs impossible for me to enjoy.

It may not be the real or only reason, but it definitely is a valid point!

In my dad’s household when I was growing up, the only music he allowed in the house was country. He liked the really old country like Jim Reeves and the like. I listened to the modern stuff at the time. I detested the old “twangy” crap, about as much as I hate the country of today. Most of the shit dubbed “bro country” is garbage. I once saw a video where six country songs were sampled simultaneously. As the songs were switched on the computer, the same beat was maintained throughout. In essence, six songs used the exact same beat. That was the basis behind Huey Lewis’ plagiarism lawsuit against Ray Parker Jr (“Ghostbusters” copied “I Want a New Drug”) back in the 1980s, as well as the lawsuit by the Marvin Gaye family against Robin Thicke (“Blurred Lines” was found to have stolen the beat from one of Gaye’s songs).

Yes, they do. Probably because Ghostbusters copied Huey Lewis

Many of the songs from the 1980s, be they “classic” rock or country are my go-to music. Though I did not get to experience the rock songs of the 80s like I would love to have (remember, my dad thought everything else was just noise), I have come to love those songs that came out during my youth. I can remember Duran Duran, U2, and other British acts being extremely popular amongst some of the girls in high school, as well as “You Spin Me Round…” by Dead or Alive being played over a loudspeaker at school lunch. In retrospect, I don’t get why my parents hated music from Kiss, Ozzy Osbourne and other bands, as I listen to them today and thoroughly enjoy them🤷‍♂️.

I wonder if the lady on the gurney had this song in mind when she went spinning “like a record”🤔😲
What? Too soon?

Now this might be a bit controversial to some. Over Labor Day weekend, one station being played at work announced their “All Beatles weekend”. Some Beatles songs are okay to listen to on occasion. However, to hear them played nonstop made my ears feel like they were bleeding. Their tone of voice got to be too much to listen to. I mentioned that I would rather hear the “teeny bopper pop crap” of “today’s shit music” than listen to any more Beatles. You just can’t play the same artist for 72 hours non-stop. Dude, you’ve got to have some variety!

If I was forced to listen to this band for three consecutive days nonstop, I think I would yeet myself from the nearest rooftop or freeway overpass

A mix of various musical genres is good for most people. Even if there’s one song or another they don’t care for, most stuff people will like. However, please don’t ever include Nickelback! They have to be the absolute worst band in existence. I can’t think of a single, solitary song by Nickelback that is even decent to listen to, and I’m not going to torture my ears, brain or eardrums trying to find one. I was blown away to hear that Nickelback did a cover of Charlie Daniels’ “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”. Though I’m not going to listen to it, many who did said they were surprised it was good. They’re entitled to their opinion, and I’ll keep mine. Nickelback absolutely sucks.

Nickelback has something in common with sports teams like the Las Vegas Raiders: they have a die-hard fan base, and nearly everyone else despises them

One more category of music I detest: Christmas music. Most of it is the same songs covered by nearly everyone. Keep your holiday cheer to yourself. Christmas music is acceptable only on the day of Christmas, not September or October. At the absolute earliest, Black Friday. And it must end on 26 Dec. When it comes to Christmas, I am a total Scrooge. BAH HUMBUG!

A study showed that 23% of people dread Christmas music and find it mentally draining. I’m glad I’m not the only one! The oversaturation of Christmas-this and Christmas-that has actually been proven harmful to people’s mental health. So, BAH HUMBUG, motherfucker!

Speaking of “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”, when the song is played on the radio, you hear the family-friendly line “I told you once you son of a gun that I’m the best that’s ever been”. I really wish the FCC would do away with the archaic censorship laws about indecent language. You hear foul words every day on cable TV, in movies and on the street. Just let us hear the original, uncensored music! Originally, the CDB released the line saying “son of a bitch”.

If you’re going to have a true musical variety, you must include parody songs from Weird Al Yankovic. I have yet to hear a radio station play anything by Weird Al including the one here locally that claims to “play anything”. You can’t say you play “anything” if you’ve never included Weird Al in your rotation. I will correct something I said a moment ago. There is one Christmas-themed song I really enjoy. It’s by Weird Al, called “The Night Santa Went Crazy”. In it, Santa loses his marbles and shoots up the elves and reindeer and blows up his workshop. In one version of the song, Santa is apprehended and sent to prison, and the remaining elves go work for the Post Office. In the other version, the elves go on unemployment and Santa is killed by the FBI. Did I ever mention how much I dislike Christmas🤔?

The full version of this song, in which Santa is apprehended and goes to jail after going berserk
The version of this song where Santa gets killed. The two versions are the same until about the 2:33 mark

Is there a certain genre of music you really like, or possibly dislike with a passion? Do you listen to everything? Let me know! Comment on the post. If you want to send me feedback or just say hi, you can always shoot me an email to raysrantsoftheweek@gmail.com. Enjoy whatever music you like, but don’t get distracted while driving! Get vaccinated or wear your mask where required, don’t be an asshole to someone else, be safe and be well.

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