CLVIII – I Challenge You

The internet can be a great tool and very useful. It can connect people across the globe, and was very useful during the lockdowns and shutdowns of 2020. Social media is a controversial part of the internet since each platform’s inception. What started as a way to connect, or to post cute cat videos, has turned into a tool for malicious deeds, as well.
Various social media platforms, including Facebook, YouTube, Instagram and TikTok, have been the source of much grief for many parents, as these apps introduce and entice kids to participate in various “challenges”. Some are benign, but others have proven to be either dangerous or downright stupid. I’m going to look at a few of these rather idiotic “challenges” presented to teens via the internet.

“Outlet Challenge”

The idea behind this is to plug a charger into an outlet, but not all the way. Then the person drops a coin on the exposed prongs to create a spark. Now, anyone with half an IQ point would know how dangerous that is. Children used to be admonished about putting a metal object into an outlet, as they would get shocked. But intentionally causing a spark? Do you really want to start a fire, you dumbass?

Remember when, as a kid, you were told not to stick a penny or a fork in the light socket? Apparently today’s youth never got the memo…

 “Ice Cream Challenge”

This one is downright disgusting, as well as dangerous. The participant goes to a grocery store, opens a tub of ice cream, licks said product and puts the contaminated merchandise back into the freezer🤮. Imagine the bacteria and disease you could catch from this nasty motherfucker. This gross act is known in the United States as food tampering, and is a felony. Yeah, you can get arrested and locked up for this. So, tell me, do you feel lucky, punk? Whoever does this should go fuck themselves and deserve punishment🤬.

This bitch needs to get her ass whooped big time. What a fucking cochina!🤢

“48 Hour Challenge”

It’s not known if anyone tried this or how many, but it would be a great concern. The idea here is for the kid to disappear and cut off all contact with their family for as much as 48 hours. “Points” would be given for every relative’s post looking for the kid. First of all, the parents would be freaking the fuck out. I know I would. If one of my kids were stupid enough to do this, first I’d be relieved when they returned, but then, I’d probably whoop their ass for pulling a stunt like that. Stupid and dangerous.

A scary challenge that didn’t get much participation, thankfully

“Hot Water Challenge”

I’m pretty sure you get where this is going. It either involves a person drinking boiling water through a straw, or a couple of people dumping boiling water on their unsuspecting friend. With friends like that, who needs enemies? Yeah, people got second- and third-degree burns from this moronic act. Don’t people now how bad boiling water can hurt someone? Oh, right, that’s common sense🤦‍♂️. Silly me!

This kid thought playing with boiling water wouldn’t do much damage. Ha! Joke’s on you, dumb shit!

“Tide Pod Challenge”

I’m sure everyone remembers this one from a couple of years ago. People were seeing how far they’d go munching on a Tide Pod before they chickened out. Now, since when was putting laundry detergent in your mouth a good idea? Oh, right. Never! At the least, you’ll throw up. You could also wind up burning the hell out of your throat or damaging your eyes. You might end up in the hospital. But hey, if you’re stupid enough to eat laundry soap, then you deserve to get sick from it.

Yum! The forbidden fruit! Not only will it get your clothes clean, it’ll clean out your insides, too! Well, it will the hard way

“Eraser Challenge”

You won’t die from this one, but it will probably hurt you, and that’s what you get for this blockheaded act. To perform this one, you take a pencil eraser and rub it on your arm as hard as you can for 30 seconds. The result is a welt on your arm, some raw skin, and more than likely, a scar on the spot. Then you’ll have a permanent homage to your smooth-brained moment.

I think the image and accompanying caption are self-explanatory

“Cinnamon Challenge”

In this knuckleheaded activity, the participants try to swallow a teaspoon of powdered cinnamon. One might think, “I love cinnamon, how hard should that be?” Well, brainiac, usually, all that powder in your mouth will cause you to start coughing or choking, possibly even burning your eyes. Eventually, mixing with your saliva, it ends up coating the mouth and throat. If you manage to aspirate the fine powder (breathe it in), you could wind up with an infection, pneumonia or even a collapsed lung. Frightening, isn’t it?

Cinnamon. So tasty, yet so dangerous. Doesn’t that sound appetizing? Getting sick from eating straight cinnamon🤤

“Salt and Ice Challenge”

This one is along the lines of trying to touch dry ice or lick a frozen pole. The doofus puts salt on the skin, then holds an ice cube to the salted spot. If you don’t live where snow sticks in winter, salt lowers the freezing temperature of water. So, the temperature on the skin can drop to some –30°🥶😵, causing frostbite and serious burns that need immediate medical attention. This can cause permanent nerve damage, not unlike lying naked in the snow.

This goddamned Einstein played (and lost) the salt and ice challenge. Now they have a permanent scar reminder of their stupidity

“Milk Crate Challenge”

The newest dumbass challenge found on TikTok, doctors warn against being this stupid. People attempt to scale a pyramid of milk crates stacked upon each other. In nearly every occasion, the dumbfuck winds up falling off, sometimes breaking something in the process. If you don’t know what a milk crate is, it’s a plastic cube that milk is delivered to a store in. It holds four gallon jugs of milk, or nine half-gallons. They measure roughly a cubic foot (around one foot high, wide and deep), so you can imagine that a stack of them is not very sturdy. People have broken limbs falling from these things, and worse could happen.

This screenshot was taken at the exact moment the guy landed after falling from a stack of milk crates. The image isn’t very clear, but the ankle on his right leg is pointed in the wrong direction—backward. I’m no doctor, but I kinda think his leg done got busted

“Choking Challenge”

This has to be one of the absolute dumbest ones on this list. In order to experience a brief moment of euphoria, a person either chokes themselves, or has someone else choke them, thereby depriving the brain of oxygen. Some guys will do this stunt while masturbating, apparently to heighten the orgasm—this is called “autoerotic asphyxiation”, and people have died from it. Apparently those dudes couldn’t figure out if they were “coming” or “going”🤔🤣. In fact, between 1995 and 2007, some 82 boys between 6 and 19 died from doing this choking challenge. Could these bozos be nominated for a Darwin Award?

We need some good Darwin Award nominees. Oh, wait, these guys aren’t unique—they’re just a bunch of dumb motherfuckers, trying to get some kind of high from almost killing themselves. Sometimes, however, you miscalculate😵🪦

Just to finish off the list, I’d like to present a challenge that would be wonderful to see happen: The Common Sense Challenge. Can we please get back to people practicing common sense in life? I mean, it’s as basic as “fire bad, food good”, or “if I put a paper clip in a light socket, I might get shocked”. It couldn’t hurt to bring common sense back, could it? Or, perhaps society in the 21st century is too far gone to ever hope for that.

I challenge you to have a great week. Hopefully, the weather is beginning to cool down wherever you are, unless you’re in the Southern Hemisphere, then your weather should be beginning to heat up. Don’t be a dick to people, wash your hands and wear your mask where required. Of course, don’t forget to be safe and be well.

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